September 25, 2005 - 4:16 p.m.

Does anyone have $25,000 I can borrow? Went to pet store yesterday, and was close to tears when I had to leave all the puppies and kitties behind. I would've preferred to write a bad check and buy them all.

Have decided instead to donate meager savings to animal resue league to help all the poor pets affected by Katrina and Rita.

I recently celebrated another birthday and have concluded that this is the year I quit smoking and lose my extra poundage. I know I say this every year, but I want to live to see more miserable birthdays.

Spent birthday playing Monopoly with my honey and my best friend. I won. I am the best.

Came up with an idea for the most super duper new version of Monopoly. What if the board was expanded to metropolis size? A whole 96 pack of Crayola colors of monopolies? Wouldn't that be fabulous. You could play for WEEKS. Water works and electric company could meet new friends; "Cable Company", "Heating Oil Company", and "Telephone Company". Luxury tax could be joined by "Credit Card Interest Payment", "Student Loan Payment", and "Car Payment". It could be totally revamped for today's life struggles.

And because it was my idea, I got dibs on the "Salmon" monopoly and I shall call it, "The Divine Miss Kim Avenue", and rent would be reasonable, because, well, most everyone deserves it.

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