October 10, 2004 - 10:35 p.m.

Sunday is the day I reserve for cleaning the apartment. My roommates and I try to make it fun by writing bizarre "to do" lists and turning it into a competetion we have come to known as "The House Douching Elimination Challenge". Basically we race around in our assigned areas and try to make it look clean. Whoever finishes last has to make breakfast. Or at least go to Dunkin Donuts.

Today it was my turn to clean the bathroom. To ease my task, Dan unveiled his latest impulse purchase; the new Clorox Flushable Wipes.

I used them, but I have several issues.

1. Clorox Flushable Wipes do not contain bleach. To me, the trademark name Clorox is synonomous with bleach.

2. FLUSHABLE wipes! Are we, as a society, too busy to extend our arms to dispose of the wipe in a trash receptacle? There is even a blip on the package that warns against flushing more than one at a time.

3. Let me just quote directly. "Do not use as toilet paper or for other types of personal cleansing." Wo-oh. Is this really a problem? The poopy hole gets so soiled that harmful chemicals might seem like an attractive alternative to toilet paper?

I am very bummed tonight. My favorite sexy bra (black, lacy...you know the type) has a tiny hole and the underwire is poking out. Dammit! Another one bites the dust. Damn my murderous boobs!

previous - next

email: