August 23, 2003 - 10:36 a.m.

What I neglected to observe before I moved into this swanky town, was that every household is richer than we are. Our nice little house is like the ghetto compared to the brick mansions that populate the neighborhood.

During my jog this morning (and by "jog" I mean jogging until I reach the end of the driveway, then slow down to a tortoise stroll when I round the bushes and am out of sight of my housemates) I met several other fitness seekers wearing Versace windbreakers and very professional looking sneakers. I was wearing my clearance Fashion Bug sweatpants, a police department t-shirt I picked up at a rummage sale, and my dirty Reeboks no longer fit for human senses to observe. These rich neighbors o' mine glared briefly my way and then paused to consult their nifty little heart rate monitor wrist thingys. I should have brought my cigarettes with me. What an impression I make.

In a few hours I have to go to my new place of employment and do some computer tutorials regarding various stupid things I don't want to know. It seems that chain pharmacies have a hell of a lot more rules than I am used to, coming from an independent one. I remember a job once I had many years ago at Wal-Mart. They had computer lessons teaching you how do deal with a spill on the floor. There were too many steps to the procedure and it seemed very over dramatic.

Rod made us mocha chip pancakes this morning. How will I ever lose weight this way?

Tonight we are having a cookout. I am doing corn on the cob and burgers. I bought a badmitton and volleyball set and will set it up for our mutual enjoyment. Dan doesn't get out of work until 7pm. Oh well. No fun for him.

I am mad at Dan anyway. Our beds are literally three feet away from each other, and he lets his alarm go off for an hour, fully knowing I can sleep in. What a jerk.

Other than that, and the humidity in the basement, the "Cellar Dwellers" (as we have been nicknamed) are living the high life. We watch Comedy Central until we almost piss our pants, eat Cheetos until we are permantly orange, and smoke in bed. It is great. But the couch is constanly wet from the moist air. We have to buy a de-humidifier before things start to grow fungus.

I suppose I should summon the stregnth to wash dishes and take a shower. The only downside to having housemates is that you are accountable for your mess. When you live alone, you can say to yourself, "I don't see that. OOh. Cheetos sounds like a good dinner."

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