June 26, 2003 - 7:17 a.m.

It is already 7am and I am dripping with sweat. Should be a good one! I thought I saw the makings of a tan on my arms yesterday, but it is gone this morning and pale as ever. Must've been dirt or something.

WPOS is still home. Saw his truck at the bar next to my father's house yesterday. Clearly, this was WPOS and my favorite bar for many years, as empty beds available within walking range. He hasn't called. Or stopped over.

Then again I moved and have new phone number. He parents know where I live, however. Surely they would tell him. And it is not like my phone number is not listed. I know it is. I get several calls a week for people looking for my father.

I guess the hardest part is realizing that he hates my fucking guts, and I don't know why. But I do know this: after everything that he has done, I should hate his fucking guts, and I don't.

I am not going to bother with it anymore. Not worth it. I have a very nice boyfriend who cares about me a great deal.

Have to go get dressed for work. Down to slim pickins again. I'll have to do laundry tonight.

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