May 27, 2003 - 10:06 p.m.

Apparently nobody wants to marry me. I've asked at least ten people today. True, five are already married and two proposals were to women, but it is still very distressing. Not even the 18 year old stock boy who converses solely with my breasts wants me as a trophy wife. And, as someone kindly pointed out, I am "no trophy". I don't need to be married forever. It's kind of like I just need a green card. I need a green card to live safely in a zone where nobody will ever bother me again. Well, some people will just always bother me. And I really don't need grandparents bitching about desiring great grandbabies, either. Ugh. My grandmother photocopied an article from Reader's Digest a while ago and sent it to me. The article basically said that I will never be able to reproduce after the age of 26. Thanks Grandma.

My mother is much cooler about the topic of grandchildren. She does not wish ever to become a grandmother. My mother does not age. She celebrates anniversaries, of her 29th birthday. My mother has never seen 30 and is gracefully skimming through her 40's by only celebrating anniversaries. Oddly enough, she wants my brother, who has reached his thirties, to reproduce. Apparently because he lives so far away it cancels out how old it will make her appear. Thanks to at least fifteen years of daily marijuana intake he is probably sterile, anyways. It's too bad, too. He's got a gorgeous little French wife who is my age and really wants children. Then again, maybe it is best he does not spawn. Just remembered childhood game where he used to enjoy beating the crap out of a sibling who was peacefully passing by on a bicycle. Come to think of it, wasn't he the asshole that initiated the game of football in the snow where he buried me up to my neck and attemped to balance the ball on my head for the kickoff? Hehe. He got into SO much trouble for that one. Yes, maybe it is for the better his DNA stays right where it is.

Most memories are better off remaining in the cold, dark vastness that is my brain, so I'd better scoot off to bed before something else pops out uninvited.

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